That's not to say I don't have good times

Trying to get inside my head is almost like trying to cross a busy highway on foot. Cars are zooming by relentlessly. One false move and your bloody carcass will be thrown through the air and left to be picked apart by scavengers.

As soon as I have something worth telling, I will update. I promise.

I spent my St. Patrick's day getting drunk at a bar in Boston. One of the most insane days I've had in awhile.

I'm officially going to England this summer.

For the sake of space, I didn't bring my camera with me back to school. I miss my baby. :-( I'm such a nerd. Speaking of which, my Daria DVDs came in the mail today, and I'm SO EXCITED. Seriously.

I'm going on a date tomorrow. Weird?

Alex is sitting with me on the couch, and her head is on my lap. She's the best dog ever.

UNH on Sunday...!

Christmas has come and gone. My parents got my sisters a Wii, which is more addicting then crack. I'm literally obsessed.

I bought a wicked sweet pair of shoes this weekend. They're actually a half size too small, but I bought them anyway. They are white and black and seafoam green and blue and have red laces. They don't match anything I own, but it's ok, because they're freaking awesome.

My cousins spent Thanksgiving with us. I wish we saw them more often, they're hilarious.

I spent over $100 at Sephora on Friday and now I'm broke again. Whatever, I'm a makeup-whore.

Today was the first time all semester that I was able to come back to my room and just chill out during common exam time. Normally I'm running around all over campus, or in the library, or working, but today I didn't have to do any of it and it was

GLORIOUS

. My only regret is not taking a nap. Although, I finally beat my score on "Carry On My Wayward Son" on Guitar Hero, so I guess I can't complain.

It's freshman registration time, meaning Hood House is ridiculous. Freshmen are either borderline retarded or illiterate, and I get to deal with them. Honestly, most of them are okay, but the morons are the ones that make my job a living hell. Bah. Only two more days of handing out RACS then it's on to the sophomores. That should be easier.

Rain, rain, go away. :-(

It's mah baby!

The Sox completely destroyed the Rockies last night. It was totally uber PWNage. Yes, I just used PWN in a sentence. No, I don't care.

Tonight I'm going to a classics lecture at the MUB which won't be over until 9. I then have two english papers to write for tomorrow. Tomorrow, I have class, then I go right to work, then after work I have a half hour to change, grab my instrument, and get to the Whit for the hockey game. I have to be up at 7:30 on Saturday, rehearse, play the football game, play at the hockey game, then I promised Kayleigh/Danielle/Allison that I would hang out with them. Sunday, I have another paper for english, a project for psych, and a shitload of greek HW.

Last night I didn't fall asleep until 5AM. I got up at 9. If you happen to talk to me and I'm completely incoherent, that's why.

sgdhjesjhgsjkgjhkds

UNH is literally insane right now. I hear yelling, cop cars, and firecrackers.

This week is going to be completely fucking ridiculous.

Last night was very interesting.

The past few days have been really productive. Today especially, I finished all of my work due for Monday and Tuesday, meaning I can actually RELAX! on Sunday. Honestly, I don't care what I do, as long as it isn't related to school work.

Last night I realized that I haven't even touched my camera in like two weeks. I miss my baby. :-( Hopefully I can have some photo-fun soon because it has been far too long.

My Greek midterm was today. I was the last one to finish (figures), but I think I actually might have passed it...! It's 15% of my grade, so this grade basically decides of I'm passing or failing. I hope hope hope hopeeee that we get them back on Monday. I don't think I can handle the suspense.

I got really sick this weekend.

Halfway though rehearsal on Friday I started to feel a little queasy and faint. "I'm just a little dehydrated." I thought. No biggie. Ten minutes before the end if rehearsal, it felt like I ran into a brick wall. I was extremely dizzy, could barely talk, could barely move. My friend Andrew had to walk me back to my room, because otherwise I wouldn't have made it. An hour later I wasn't any better, so I called my parents and went home.

Saturday was spent sleeping, drinking Gatorade and eating an obscene amount of food. I've apparently lost 15 lbs in the past few weeks. I know I haven't been taking care of myself, but I didn't realize it had gone to such an extreme.

I came back to school Sunday night. I'm still a bit out of it, and my blood pressure keeps dropping at random times, but other then that I feel so much better.

I guess the moral of the story is that you can't live on diet coke and coffee. (yes, I'm an idiot, I know)

So, this week I have my Greek midterm and an essay for Behavior Analysis. I'm not too worried for the exam, but I need to pass the midterm otherwise my grade is completely fucked. My Greek class has covered an incredible amount of material in one month. Concept-wise, it's not too difficult, but the sheer volume is what's causing me so much trouble. I'm not good at memorization, which is the basis of the class. I foresee a few all-nighters in my future. :-/

I'm forbidding myself from drinking any alcohol until everything settles down. Otherwise, I'll overboard and the last thing I want is a repeat of last year. It shouldn't be too difficult. Honestly, my stomach has been easily upset lately, if I eat anything remotely acidic / harsh I feel sick.

This weekend is going to be insane. I have rehearsal at 8:30am Saturday, then the football game, then the Salem Band Show. I get to go home after that, though. I'll get to see my dog! :-) Sunday, I have to be back on campus by 5 for a horn sectional for symphonic band.

Hopefully I don't have too much homework...

There is too much going on.

I've never felt so creative in my life, but I can't figure out the best way to channel it into something tangible. Part of me is holding back, and I don't know why. I know that if I can just get my shit together that I have the potential to create something special.

I need focus. Anyone know where I can find some?

Someone on DC++ has the entire Planet Earth series and I've been watching it obsessively. Watching it makes me want to drop out of school and travel the world and see all of those amazing places that I never knew existed. Even on a computer screen, some of these places look absolutely incredible. I'd love to go, just me and my camera, and take pictures...I feel like I could spend months photographing just one place and not even begin to breach the surface.

I definitely want to go to the Amazon, New Zealand, and Greece. Actually? I want to go to Antarctica. I hear that the sunsets are absolutely breathtaking. And I'll get to see penguins! The Arctic Circle also seems like a neat place to go, especially during the summer. I didn't realize that so many types of animals migrated up there. The stereotype is that it's frozen all year round, but on the Ice World episode, it looked fairly habitable during the year. Plus, I bet it's fairly unspoilt, considering that hardly anyone goes further north then Alaska anymore.

Well, I suppose I should go to class...I'm so fucking tired, I hope I don't fall asleep.

Things I have learned this week:
+ the mothafuckin Thriller dance
+ I can play (horn) really fucking loud but I need to practice more
+ Greek isn't as hard as I was making it out to be, I actually have to put effort into it
+ I need to get my proverbial shit together and start doing school work
+ I don't like coffee. Tea is my new crack.

I hate doing this to myself.

I hate doing this because it brings up every fucking issue that I don't want to deal with. It makes me think. THINKING IS BAD. THINKING IS WHAT GOT ME INTO TROUBLE LAST YEAR. Thinking makes me delusional, makes me believe that certain things can happen while it is blatantly obvious that it won't. Every time I do this I make an ass out of myself. Every time I say things, do things that I regret. I ruin things. I'm especially good at ruining things, like there is a part of me that is so fucking masochistic that I sabotage myself in any way possible.

Never again.